Imperial Command of the Raccoon General

Thoughts and Memoirs of a Ring-tailed and Masked Dominator of the World

My Photo

General of the mighty Raccoon Army

Monday, June 28, 2010

... And that's all I have to say about that.

There was this show on TV where there was a person whose life revolves around being at home, tidying up and cleaning the house as a the prime occupation. A housewife-life if I would say so myself. My sister said of how jealous she is of such life. I on the other hand was utterly astonished for anyone to wanting such existence.

Today I woke up as always, early in the morning and woken by the alarm clock. I travel by bus early in the morning as I head off for work. Arriving at Kelana Jaya I took the train to the next stop. The train was new, and as far as Putra LRT goes, it was twice as long as the older trains. 4 coaches now! In front of me there was a girl that curiously reminded my of the character Supergirl; she was wearing a white top, blue short skirt and the lack of red cape I suppose is made up by the red bra. 3 stations away, I got off and began my 20 minute walk to the workplace.

I do animations. That's my job. That's what I'm being paid for. Specifically I do 2D Flash based animation, of which my most proudest work actually went up on Disney Channel on one time. Day by day, I do cartoons and all the little funny things. While working I prefer listening to music or putting on some videos or shows, just to keep me up. At about 1 or 2 pm, I would have lunch, followed by a short rest, and then resume work till past 5 pm. Then, it's all about retracing my morning ourney but from the opposite end, and by nightfall I would arrive back home for dinner, rest and, I pray with all my heart to always have this, gaming.

The thing is, my sister could be right.

Or at least, she might have a point. Where else is best for a person but home? And home is where the heart is. For her, it may be the house and all the house chores. Since our mom passed away, she has taken the position of being the one most concerned with house well being, which while seems nice I do feel at times it is more oppressive than previously. But that's not my point here.

For this June, barring the 2 weeks plus of my being sick with dengue, my work place is Vision Animation. But I work for Eden Studio. This predicament is made possible by the utter insistence of Vision to treat outsourced workforce as freelancers, even those under banners of other studios, and the need for said freelancers to work under their roof and supervision. It has merits especially on the supervision bit, but it is also an inconvenience, especially on the point of location.

I realize now how precarious my contentment in my life is. Even when I was back at our own office, I was merely content and tolerated all the other nuances there. Now being forced to work in a place not of our own nor of our preference, I start to feel utterly detesting it. But I'm not really angry either. It just got me thinking.

Everybody says they'd like to work doing the things they like. By that logic I should be happy doing animation where drawing is one of the things we do a lot. I think that statement was more of compromise speach people say to accomodate for what is the norm in society. In truth, I am not happy doing the things I like because I am doing the thing I like for somebody else. Specifically, I am doing the activity of my preference, but on a subject that is of someone elses choice. Adding to that, we do at a place and time and pace of their direction.

The root of it is that we want to do what we like, we want to work on the things we like; not just simply doing the things we like. It is a sad thing then most of us have jobs, or being employed by others, because that means we aren't always doing what we like, and most certainly we are always being pulled away from where we usually would like to be at the times we'd rather not be elsewhere. A freelancer or so called self employed person is not much better. He may dictate location (except in Vision's case) but basic needs (income for food and living) means he is faced with about the same thing as the employee, plus having to constantly find new work as one project finishes.

Very few of us humans actually get to do what we like, where we like and when we like, simply for our own sake but coincidentally can make a living out of it, and in certain cases, lavish living. My question to myself is why? Is it the world imposing itself against our individual wants? Is it the current social economic structure that prevents such dreams? Or is it that we simply hold ourselves back from doing what we like and profiting from it?

Forrest Gump loved his mother, and he loved Jenny. He wished to honor his promise to his good friend Bubba and thought of little else. He is a simpleton, but he does whatever he is able to with dedication. In his own simple way of things he inspires and achieves a kind of life most of us could just dream of.

And he gets the girl. Fancy that.

The world can't be that bleak. The world can't be that bleak. I want to be happy. Why can't I?