Imperial Command of the Raccoon General

Thoughts and Memoirs of a Ring-tailed and Masked Dominator of the World

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General of the mighty Raccoon Army

Monday, March 05, 2007

Should I hate my life now?

It's been a long time since I posted anything here, and since then a heck of a lot of things have happened.

I got a permanent placement for a job in the company I worked for since September, so yeah I'm quite setting myself up for all this 'working person persona' I'm still getting used to being. But lest it all sounds so peachy, I'm here to tell that despite the seemingly rosy news, the reality is far grim than it is. Just like people in the early years envisioning war as glorious, romantic and heroic, only to have such image shattered once the grim truth was revealed, so it is with my situation. For starters, we are busy here at work.

Freakishly busy. Slaves, Zombies, Robots, are but few terms that come to mind of how we have to work. Truth be told the pressure was building up since late last year already and already back then felt like the Titanic was resting on my head. I opted to ask for a time off after my contract ends, hoping to resume work much later. But somewhat unsurprisingly, REQUEST DENIED. And so the weight of the Titanic is starting to be a Bismarck weight, soon perhaps a Yamato weight and eventually, a Nimitz class Aircraft carrier weight will be pressing against my skull. Such is the pressure, and if my intent to break away from work seems a little selfish, leaving the other office mates to fend for themselves with all the work, well I can only say this, To each his/her own. Or TRANSLATION: This is MY problem, I'm not you and you're not me. Do not make the idiotic mistake of assuming we are all alike. My priorities are different, so I'm sorry if I value different things in life more.

No wait... I am NOT sorry for that. It is my right. I shouldn't be sorry. (oh being such a mean person here, but hey, I am not a nice person.)

Once I said that sanity is in short supply in my world. Well, right now, the one bit of sanity I have is all that remains, sustained precariously, dangerously on the brink, by my somewhat limited gaming sessions. Too much distance from such gaming sessions coupled with even just the regular (uber-hectic) work, and I fear my mind might just collapse. So yeah, I'm not happy. With work, with some of the collegues, what else is new?

Okay, there is a voice at the back of my mind that says I should at least explain my feelings and hostile remarks. the fact of the matter is, I'm not doing what I want. The fact that if I am good at what I am doing currently, is merely a bonus, pure coincidental and lucky. I don't hate animation, I respect it. But just like I respect educators and teachers, I do not necesarrily want to be one myself. I never had (never ever) any intent on being an animator. While I do look forward to working in the industry, what I want really is to write, si-fi fantasy materials of probably epic scale, that is perhaps more deep and serious than light and humorous materials. That aside, I want to design things and characters for the said genre, for doing concept art and storyboarding is somewhat a dream of mine since I ever saw behind the scene shots of great movies and games. I accept doing what I do know merely to appreciate and to understand the angle from this point of view of the industry. I do not think I ever intend to be in the thick of it when all hell is breaking loose here.

Having said that, moving to greener pastures, a number of new games are coming out and significantly, I am seemingly going to fill out my hard drive obtaining them. The only flaw being most games under severe pressure here since the crack down on piracy, which is sad but not really much that can be done. Piracy is illegal true and it is bad, but in terms of softwares most especially, it is the very lifeblood of the gamers here, save a few. Understand that unlike in the States where kids can ask 30-40 DOLLARS to get a game every now and then, Spenind 20-30 RM on games is somewhat the average for a LOT of people here. Don't be an idiot and think that getting one 100RM+ game once every blue moon is enough. Firstly not that many can afford even ONE RM100 game. Secondly, gamers play at least a few games and you cant't imagine us sticking to just one until we decay our keyboard just playing that very one. Gamers are like sportsman these days and we play a variety of things and to shun gamers as time wasters these days is like to say one shouldn't play football.Welcome to the future, and if anything at all that is nice about the future, this is it.

*Sticks out tongue at crappy anti-gamer traditionalists*

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