Imperial Command of the Raccoon General

Thoughts and Memoirs of a Ring-tailed and Masked Dominator of the World

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General of the mighty Raccoon Army

Friday, March 17, 2006

This Week...

A reflection of the week is best given today, 17th March 2006, as it has been a turbulent week and it has its glory moments as well as its moments of downfalls. Admittedly the week begins not in Fridays or Saturdays but the fact of the matter is for this week, a whole new list of events begins at the dan of the weekend.

Let me start off by saying the recent weekend itself was a turbulence of up and downs in my life. On one hand I have one of the friends I have cheerished for some years finally getting married in a glorious event, and in the other I learnt how vile certain people can be or perhaps how they can be specifically inco.siderate; though I am uncertain whether it is as a whole just something that they do, or if it was specifically towards me.

Nevertheless the result of that was that I am sworn not to leave myself vulnerable to such types anymore.

But the consolation was that I did what I set out to do, I achieved it despite these type of folks making the odds for me even tougher and not only that, I feel that at last I can lay one matter in life finally to rest. Truly, I am finally at peace with this.

Not that such bliss stopped me from getting sick, cause' for the most part of this week my health isn't exactly examplary with this flu.

A wedding marks the beginning of this thing, an interview draws the end.

True, Codemasters won't hire me. I thought of even writing 'probably' until I realized just how obvious it is that there is no probability. Fact of the matter is they have a project in hand already and I am not what they need at the moment. That is not to say in the long run I am not of use. Because fact is, I am. As a new branch they need conceptualists eventually, and thats where the silver lining is, and what a bright lining it seems to me. I knew the guy at least, one of them and we could get along talking. He seemed at least impressed with my art, and in turn impressed me by knowing my sources of inspiration. Almost too precisely, though I wonder, since the guy was from where Mew Mew is working, if my best pal there has spilled some beans on me to the folks over there. But I doubt it. No wait, she did, but I don't think this one is her doing, because I don't do much Warhammer talking to her.

Anywhow, the point is this. I realized that being let down, or being told No, and such, isn't a proof of one's inferiority. In regards to my friend Mew Mew, I always have felt inferior to her, and have wondered many a times if I am even worthy of her company, but the Interview with Codemasters showed me one thing; I am not all that worthless and it's not that everything I do is bad, it just haven't found a place of its proper application yet. No, I'm not going to turn into super confident as of now, and in fact I will still feel inferior in some respects but the good thing, I am willing to make up for that and improve.

Lastly, once a student always a student. Why? Because the moment I stepped back in class back in MMU, I felt that I belonged somehow.... Thus Ms. Belinda, my former tutor, without so much as a 'Nice to see you again' instead told me.... "Please arrange the chairs..."


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