Imperial Command of the Raccoon General

Thoughts and Memoirs of a Ring-tailed and Masked Dominator of the World

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General of the mighty Raccoon Army

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Passion and Compromises

The nights have grown cold as of late. The rain pours every evening like clockwork, leaving a chilly atmosphere that seems to blanket your skin with the cold. The one thing that would be good right now would be to cuddle in under a thick blanket and lie down on soft matresses till you fall asleep. The only thing better than that is to also have girl, or rather a loved one, for you to cuddle with under those blankets, but in anycase I find myself here, caught in the path of what feels to me like the artic winds, and just sitting in front of the monitor, absorbing radiation into my eyes and face.

Bed is just a few minutes of walk away but why do I contend myself here? Because for what ever reason, good or bad, home symbolically represents the norm, at least thats what it is for me, and as we all should know by now, I hate to conform to the norm.

The matter is this: I am asked to get a job, a drivers license and stay at home and all that. But there are reasons I do not... nay... CANNOT conform to to that. For starters, yes I do want to find a job and earn money, but the fact of the matter is I don't want to get ANY job just for the sake of getting money or experience. I want relevant experience, in terms of the right field or subject. Above all, I want to do something because I love it, because I want to do it, and because it is my passion and not just for money. Were it not for its almost unlimited uses, I would have loved to dispense with money away. And for the license thing, let's just say these are the two reasons, I don't really have passion for cars, and I hate to be continually forced to do something, so being continually forced on something i totally have a distaste for, well... the results are as obvious as you can see. And stay at home? Puh-lease... make it a home for me, then I would stay. Home is where I am at ease, but everytime I go back I feel tense. Home is where I can do my hobbies, but more and more I find all places being restricted from my activities. Home is where I have privacy but somehow doing long works with the door locked is a hassle as well as something looked down on.

Oh, but why must I be so stubborn? Surely I can compromise a little. But that's just it isn't it? One compromise would to another and eventually it'll be a hundred compromises. In my case I feel like I have been compromising all my life. I want something, I don't get it and I compromise by settling for something less. So look at me now, socially underdeveloped, no girlfriend, surviving on small amounts of resources and for the most part clueless on the workings of society and thus have begun to hate society and anything conforming to it. Now, when I want something, I want just that, the very best. And I do not worry about if I deserve the best or not, because in all sense most people don't deserve a lot of things, but they got it anyways because they don't worry about that and just strive to get it.

The point is this. God made us all unique. Why do we try to make ourselves all simliar? God gave us emotions for a reason but why do we seek to throw those away under the guise of professionalism, rationalism or logic? And above all else, we all have functions to perform in life, and believe me, that function is not, nor ever will be, getting lots of money. Money is a side benefit of good work, a necessary element in today's life it is, but in the course of it all, it is secondary to the passion for the work itself, and I think experience too is secondary to that. Experience is a bonus perhaps but should not be a prequisite, because like money experience is also a side benefit gained from the work itself. Your heart in the work, that is what should come first and foremost.


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