Mind Your Manners
I have always placed a high value in being straight forward. I must admit I suck at the art of "hinting" and giving out clues. Maybe that's why I'm still single. I do not read clues well nor do I know how to approach certain matters with subtlety.
But I know that being straightforwardly blunt is not the way to go through life. The truth hurts, and whilst I don't promote the idea of sugar coating facts, I also believe it is entirely possible to deliver a fact clean and clear but with respect and politeness.
A friend of mine said that chivalry is dead. Be that true or otherwise, I can never be certain. What I do know is no matter what the excuse or line of reasoning, I firmly believe that there's never an excuse to not be polite. It doesn't hurt you to be mindful of other people's emotion. If it comes to you as annoying or exhausting or tedious or time consuming to have manners, then that is certainly due to your own warped perspective on the matter. If we can devote time and effort, as well as deep passion for our jobs, for our possessions or for hobbies, then spending a little consideration and time to be polite isn't really a big thing.
Why is it that for a lot of people, when we say being direct and truthful, it sometimes comes to them as a necessity to either hurt people by that truth, or to be absolutely disregarding the fact of the other person's feelings? I think that as a people, we are far too concerned with a great many things that there are aspects in culture and life that slip past us as we try to hold a tighter grip on our existence in this modern society. The need for precision, quick thinking, making right choices, or the urgency of larger issues like the economy, politics, the environment have all but made us put the matter of ethics on the back seat.
In this day and age, the Malays in Malaysia have largely been like underdeveloped people and some popular opinion would have the blame placed on the fact that the malays stress to much on being polite. That is not entirely true. The fact is probably that we worry about pleasing others too much or not offending others so much, that we let ourselves be stepped on. That, however, is not the same as being polite. We can be firm but polite, still. We can be direct but still maintain ethics. We can be truthful but mindful of what others feel.
I know I would be to blame of being rude at times. We all would be guilty of such one time or other. That however should not deter us from encouraging others to be respectful.
Yet, what further disheartens me regarding the matter is that some groups of people that should be iconized as the symbol of politeness, have themselves conducted in manners rather rude in nature. Day by day, as I take the bus and train to work, I find it baffling that it's not the youngsters that strike me as rude, but rather those elder middle aged LADIES. Yes, that's quite true. These ladies are hassling for position to get on the bus or train first, pushing other people aside while talking obnoxiously loud amongst themselves.
I want to be respectful and give way for such elders, but really, with attitudes like that, I feel more inclined to shove them aside instead.
If the elderly, and especially by nature of them being ladies, are already giving such dismal example in a society, how can we expect the new generation to be respectful. Respect is earned, after all, but these so called elders are showing nothing worth respecting that some might wonder of what worth is respect anymore, if these supposed examples cared not of it?
We live in a very structured, pressured and stressful existence these days, and I guess this contributes to us loosing our grip on our manners; I would know because everyday there are always people around that irks me so. But I still figure it an element that we sorely need in these times. Think about it, if people are less rude, then wouldn't there be at least a tad bit less amount of stress as well?
But I do know that changing one's stance, one's attitude and way of thinking doesn't happen overnight. What matters though is that we try nevertheless.
Will you make the effort?
But I know that being straightforwardly blunt is not the way to go through life. The truth hurts, and whilst I don't promote the idea of sugar coating facts, I also believe it is entirely possible to deliver a fact clean and clear but with respect and politeness.
A friend of mine said that chivalry is dead. Be that true or otherwise, I can never be certain. What I do know is no matter what the excuse or line of reasoning, I firmly believe that there's never an excuse to not be polite. It doesn't hurt you to be mindful of other people's emotion. If it comes to you as annoying or exhausting or tedious or time consuming to have manners, then that is certainly due to your own warped perspective on the matter. If we can devote time and effort, as well as deep passion for our jobs, for our possessions or for hobbies, then spending a little consideration and time to be polite isn't really a big thing.
Why is it that for a lot of people, when we say being direct and truthful, it sometimes comes to them as a necessity to either hurt people by that truth, or to be absolutely disregarding the fact of the other person's feelings? I think that as a people, we are far too concerned with a great many things that there are aspects in culture and life that slip past us as we try to hold a tighter grip on our existence in this modern society. The need for precision, quick thinking, making right choices, or the urgency of larger issues like the economy, politics, the environment have all but made us put the matter of ethics on the back seat.
In this day and age, the Malays in Malaysia have largely been like underdeveloped people and some popular opinion would have the blame placed on the fact that the malays stress to much on being polite. That is not entirely true. The fact is probably that we worry about pleasing others too much or not offending others so much, that we let ourselves be stepped on. That, however, is not the same as being polite. We can be firm but polite, still. We can be direct but still maintain ethics. We can be truthful but mindful of what others feel.
I know I would be to blame of being rude at times. We all would be guilty of such one time or other. That however should not deter us from encouraging others to be respectful.
Yet, what further disheartens me regarding the matter is that some groups of people that should be iconized as the symbol of politeness, have themselves conducted in manners rather rude in nature. Day by day, as I take the bus and train to work, I find it baffling that it's not the youngsters that strike me as rude, but rather those elder middle aged LADIES. Yes, that's quite true. These ladies are hassling for position to get on the bus or train first, pushing other people aside while talking obnoxiously loud amongst themselves.
I want to be respectful and give way for such elders, but really, with attitudes like that, I feel more inclined to shove them aside instead.
If the elderly, and especially by nature of them being ladies, are already giving such dismal example in a society, how can we expect the new generation to be respectful. Respect is earned, after all, but these so called elders are showing nothing worth respecting that some might wonder of what worth is respect anymore, if these supposed examples cared not of it?
We live in a very structured, pressured and stressful existence these days, and I guess this contributes to us loosing our grip on our manners; I would know because everyday there are always people around that irks me so. But I still figure it an element that we sorely need in these times. Think about it, if people are less rude, then wouldn't there be at least a tad bit less amount of stress as well?
But I do know that changing one's stance, one's attitude and way of thinking doesn't happen overnight. What matters though is that we try nevertheless.
Will you make the effort?
posted by Raccoon General | 7:04 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home