Self Justification

I haven't been busy but aside from some awesome gaming moments, even squeezing them between work days and all, there's been nothing much to note, so I don't have much else to write till now.

I may not be the most observent of persons, but I do tend to ponder a lot on the things I encounter in life, at least at some time or other. I find it curiously intriguing at how some people justify themselves in certain things in order to portray themselves in good light. Or maybe, I should rephrase that to "in an imagined good light".

Have you ever met or heard of someone who goes around and points to how ridiculous others are for indulging certain things? For an example, the person finds someone being rather deeply technical on a matter and decided to say that the technical one is rather sad, silly, ridiculous, or that the action is wrong, unnecessary, excessive, geeky, over indulgent and the like. Or the fact that if I were to read a book and I was critical about its language. As an example, of course. I wonder since when has it been anyone's right to say when or what we can or cannot focus on, or whether or not we can state on the said matters.

These people are trying to justify themselves of course, trying to persuade themselves and/or any chaps who happen to encounter them... just how "in the right" they are. There are many reasons being spewed out from these people, from it being their rights to be bitches, or to how socially/ethically wrong the others are for doing what they consider a form of inproper action. I don't think I should blame people if they need or feel the need to justify themselves. But I do find it funny upon hearing the lame reasons they give. Forgive me, I didn't mean to taint that word; Reason. I meant to say... excuses.

Personally I have to admit, I enjoy arguments, especially healthy, inspiring, intelligent arguments. I think I can accept and respect the person more if they come up with facts, solid examples and and fight me off with such intelligence that I will be left speechless at the end. At best, I would feel enlightened by such people. At worst, I will feel slightly embarassed to be solidly proven wrong. But to argue with someone who comes up with "It's my right to be a bitch" or "You're being silly because you take it too seriously" or such, it just astounds me to see how they can figure themselves as modern, enlightened, educated, intelligent, independent, creative or otherwise.

And then, there's those who seek to argue not by mere solidity of your facts, but how your speech, narrative, or thoughts have contradict or faltered. OH I'm sure you know, those people who go on saying "Eh dulu cakap lain" (Translated from malay: "Last time you said something else"). Look I know sometimes we state out principles and such but later on we might step over those very words. But I don't think that defines hypocrisy. Hypocrisy is more on the lack of belief, switching your stance whenever it suits you most. But that aside, if you truly believe in something, I don't see any wrong in having a change of mind. It's not hyprocrisy if you really believe it I think. It's only so when you change as a matter of greed or being sneeky. Or just out of popular sentiment. I don't know. I am just recalling the few collegues I have here who because working life can be a bit hectic, they simple say "Oh, I quit gaming already coz' I'm busy with work" For me that's hypocrisy, not because of them leaving gaming, but because they haven't really tried for it, and you'll know it coz you will still find them doing other things beside work. Shopping. Doing art. Dating. Whatever. Point is they have time, but they refuse to admit the complete truth of it.

The sad thing is that this is exactly my point in my past posting, "Words" in point number 7 about being open minded. These people can be... delusional, I suppose the word is, in their belief in their own infallibility. Open minded, admitting personal flaws, preaching for simple approaches to life, these are the new trends people want to use to impress others these days, I might add. They self proclaim these virtues out loud so as to be labelled the good guy. Do not mistake my meaning though, those are all very good virtues which we should try to aspire for, but we are not in posession of them merely because we proclaim it so.

Additionally, I think its worth stating one more thing partially related to all this; about criticism and reactions to it. By all means, should you choose to accept or reject a criticsm, that's between you and your conscience. But your outward reaction to it can have quite the jarring effect on me sometimes. One should not act smug at being criticized by either downplaying the person who criticize you, (the age old argument of "Who are YOU to criticize me??) or by downplaying the act of such criticism (I think Malays would some times say something like "Alah, benda kecik-kecik macam tu pun nak berkira/ translated: even such small matters you want to be critical about..). I'm saying these because for the former, just because one has a better history or track record than someone else does not mean they are beneath you to even say anything bad about you and yours. As for the latter, I have to state something I pointed out in a past (friendly) argument with a friend of mine. Small things matter. In the simplest of elaborations, big things are made of small things, and the overall quality of a big thing is determined by the essence that makes it; small things are like the DNA needed to make big things.

Hmm. I think there are times I should heed my own words. In my profession for example, its obvious I have lots to learn, but being reasonably good, sometimes, at my job, I can find it quite annoying to have my flaws pointed out. OH well... I suppose we should all advise each other and learn together then.