Imperial Command of the Raccoon General

Thoughts and Memoirs of a Ring-tailed and Masked Dominator of the World

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General of the mighty Raccoon Army

Monday, November 27, 2006

Dreams can only be lost if you let it...

It's been ages since I last posted and its all because of this new job. Well, not so new since I've been at it for almost 3 months. On the upside, I'm earning enough to be getting a new PC soon, and also able to start paying off my loan. However the cost is that it is slowly sucking up my life and making me into one of those workaholic white collar peoples.

I'm starting to feel like MewMew, complaining about all the work but nevertheless still devoting myself to it. But here's where I draw the line. MewMew can believe in all the things like 'it's for the career prospect', or its for filling up our portfolio or even it is as a goal in life. You're welcome to it, my friend, and I respect ur stance on the matter. But not for me. And I know you know me well enough that such creed is never for me.

I am first and foremost, and forever more, a people's person. I place my priority on friends and loved ones first. So yes, I hate all this workload, just like you MewMew, but I hate it even more because, I swore I would hate the type of person I'm starting to turn out to be. What kind of person is that? Simple. Work a lot, get lots of money, and while it kills him deepdown to be doing such slavery, he still does it and his usual friends are usually those he works with with no pure no-strings-attached kind of person as a friend. His life is the office, and beyond that he is a loner. He forgets his old friends or equally bad, he starts to contact them less and less.

I vowed to be always there for my friends; to kick aside work and money if ever it needs be for their sake, yet here I am, starting to be another clone. Hard to describe the frustration, for its beyond merely sick of so much work. It is like my sould is crying out because of what I am becoming. But it is not my point here to rant about my complaints in life. I want instead to view it from another angle for the purpose of this essay.

I walk alone at 6am today in the middle of the road. The sky was clear with little clouds and the wind was as soft as a whisper. Far above I see stars dotting the heavens. It is a baeutiful sight. It is an inspiring sight.

Throughout these months, especially in the festivities recently, I too have met many people. New and old alike, they bring many faces and thoughts about. Some are bigger, some richer, some married, some engaged, and some are... well.... new. Some are small and young, others older and taller. Some that are also not there anymore and may God rest their souls. They all have it their own way yet in all that we all have ties to each other. Cousin. Friend. Nephew. Uncle. And a host of other titles that label our connection.

What I want to point out, especially now more than ever after reading MewMew's recent posting, is that for all the difference, we have common grounds that ties us together. And so, if we have so things in common, would it not be probable to presume that some of their fortunes may well be bestowed upon us as well?

The problem is we never know when we will get these things, or if ever. So we can only make do with what we are given. OR in other words, play the best you can with what hand Fate has delat you with. It is not a sentence however, not a penalty it is, but rather a fact of life. We all go by worrying of all sorts of thing, when in truth, what we should think of is what we have, and what are we going to do with that.

I don't understand at first, why so many people are sad. From my point of view, if there ever was anybody who should be sad, it is I. I'm still searching for my calling in the 'real' world, I'm not happy (at least not entirely) with my job or its pay. I don't think my talents are fully appreciated nor even utilized. And ah yes, with so many others already married, or engaged, or getting married/engaged or even found the person suited for a life partner, here I am, alone, and not a girl to call my own. I do not have that...'soulmate' person whom I can talk things with, having had to resort in confiding to bestfriends only. (Yet I have realized bestfriends are also limited, and pretty soon even they will find their significant other and eventually leave me). And I live among so many fortunate people; individuals who have parents supporting them financially unlike what mine is capable of; or those who blunder so much but still have opportunities knocking at their doors, or even plainly, those more talented and appreciated than me, thus it pains me when I see the hand that fate has dealt me. Why? Why all these torment?

But I know now one thing. Sad or otherwise these things will go on. Life will go on. To go around moping about all the time is a futile effort. So let the world throw its worst at me. At you. Let them come! Because the truth is there is always someone worse than you and all these are merely tests. If I am destined to not have something, so be it. But I will make them, anyone, rue the day they thought lesser of me. I will make it that those who fail to see my abilities weep when I prove myself of great worth. I will make the ladies cry out in shame as they see what I could have given them in turn, had they given me but a second look, a passing chance. And I will make all those fortunate people green with envy as I grow more prosper than them. I will do all that, or die trying.

For what is the purpose of living, if not to fight and triumph over all the odds?

I have a dream; a wonderful dream of myself, in a beautiful house with a beautiful woman. Of mountains of cash and all needs satisfied. Once, I thought that dream is lost. But I realize dreams can only be lost if you let it.

Do not tell me you wished for things to be otherwise. Do not tell me that fate had things turned out different from what you hoped. Do not give me these empty words. If you truly believe in the dreams you spoke, if you so strongly believe in your principles, then fight! Fight against those odds, prove that you mean that which you spoke of.

Fight, or die trying. There is no shame in either, for shame can only be found quitting.

For you can only lose once you give up, or compromise that dream for something lesser.